decisions, decisions….from the head or the heart…body and soul

The permission to make the decisions is something we long for as children; "When I grow up I'll decide when I go to bed/get home/watch telly."

Then, here we are, adult, making all the decisions. It is wonderful to be ‘at choice'; exciting, powerful and inspiring that we can decide in which direction our lives are heading. And yet, at other times, decisions can be overwhelming, exhausting and stomach churning.

So, when it comes to really BIG decisions here are some strategies which might help:

For and Against

Write a list of the pros and cons for each course of action. Go on, as many as you can possibly think of on either side.

Right, now go through the list and scribble out all the one's which begin with “I can't/should/not good enough, etc.” These are all gremlins or self-limiting beliefs that stop us being all we can be.

Done tha ... good ...

Now write a list of how the decision - one way and the other - impacts on the balance of your Wheel of Life.

The Wheel of Lifeis made up of all those components which are part of a person's existence - family and friends, career, money, environment, significant other, fun and recreation, health, personal growth. When all these segments are in balance and at their optimum levels - you can score them from 1 to 10 - then you will get a smooth, fulfilled ride. If they are out of alignment then it's going to be bumpy.

Does the decision you've made have your wheel grow bigger or just make it a bumpier ride? Or is a little short-term bumpiness important for the long-term expansion of your wheel?

These methods are great for establishing quantifiable measurements – even if they are scores out of ten plucked from the air.

Follow your Heart

Decisions from the heart come from honouring your values; not your morals, your values. These are at the core of who you are.

Values are those aspects of your life which bring fulfilment; things which if not honoured have you feeling flat or make you feel positively miserable or enraged.

For example I have a client with a core value of creativity – she is an artist. It didn't take many sessions for her to realise why supermarket shelf-stacking really ticked her off – so she packed it in and has been going from strength to strength ever since.

Values are the blueprint for your fulfilment: a tool for decision making.

Another client, an entrepreneur, was about to buy a particular company. When we examined how this decision would support his values he discovered that his top value was being honoured handsomely. However, the others were either ignored or trampled. The client decided against the purchase without a moment's hesitation or regret.

Experience It

Decisions from the body. If you can, then try and experience the outcome of the decision you are trying to make.

So, if your decision is about starting a family then borrow someone's two-year-old for an afternoon (they're not babies long).

If it is a job change then ask if you could have a trial afternoon to see if you fit in.

If you can't actually experience it then do your best to imagine what life will be like. Your imagination is your most powerful tool: pretend you've made the decision and live with it for a week – noticing what you feel at the time and the prevailing mood?

You could also try imagining the decision being taken away by circumstances outside of your control. How does that feel?

Is it right, right now?

Finally, does this decision fit in with who you are as a person right now? Or is this decision going to take you towards who you want to be?

Want some help? Call for a free sample session on 01353 649114 or email jill@coachyou.co.uk for an apointment.